A retrospective

So like the title says, I have so much damn stuff I want to write about, and I'm only doing one blog a day. So up first is soccer, because it's a long one and I'm home with a messed up shoulder.

Soccer's always been a huge part of my life, going back to when I was just 5. I've always played club, and indoor, and pretty much played every day of the year. When I got to high school, I scaled it back. I decided that I wanted to expand myself, branch out into new things, and that with that big of a commitment I couldn't do that. I still played for Indian Creek, but it was a step down. I didn't have multiple practices a day, and I wasn't playing as competitively. I hated it. There were some kids on that team who made me hate going to practice every day. That doesn't mean there weren't some good times. Even though there were the kids I hate, there were also kids I consider some of my best friends to this day. I have some terrible memories from that first season of Indian Creek soccer, but some great ones too.

Then sophomore year rolled up. I wasn't sure if I wanted to play, but I decided that I couldn't give up on such a huge part of my life. I couldn't let some jerky kids take away my identity as a soccer player. So I played. I kept my identity as a soccer player, hung out with my friends, and did my best to ignore the jerks.

Junior year was the difference. That was when I really started to enjoy playing soccer at Indian Creek. It was when I started to get confused when my friends would complain about practice, like it's some sort of terrible obligation. I absolutely loved practice because it was 2 and a 1/2 hours every day where I got to do one of the things I love the most. We had a new coach, and I "got" him. He cared. A lot. We pulled together as a team. We made the playoffs. Then we lost. It left an awful taste in my mouth.

Then there was this year. Objectively, it was about the same season as last year. Same record, same loss in the first round of the playoffs. But this year was by far the best year of Indian Creek Soccer I've ever been a part of. It was the attitude amongst the kids on the team. We took it seriously. It reminded me of playing club, where people loved the game and practiced like they meant it. In our playoff game, I got hurt. The athletic trainer wouldn't let me play the second half, and I sat on the bench thinking. I remembered all 4 years of soccer, and I got so sad. When the game was about to end, coach subbed out all the other seniors. As they walked off the field, I saw tears in their eyes. And I felt them in mine. Indian Creek soccer had been a huge part of my life for 4 years, and it just ended. That was it. We walked off the field, onto the bus, and went home.

That was it. No more practice, no more games, no more bus rides, nothing. It's rough. I credit that freshman season of soccer for quite honestly turning my life around. I was the most unorganized slacker to ever hit the face of the earth, and I was terrified of trying to do much because I was just this puny little freshman. When I got to start, and I got this huge responsibility it gave me a much needed boost of confidence. It was what gave the confidence to run for student government, and what gave me a reason to do well in school.

At the start of this year, I figured I was ready to be done with it. It didn't really hit me that it would be the actually end. I was slapped in the face by the finality of it. And it made me realize that I don't want it to end. I'm planning on playing in college now. I can't handle not playing in some way shape or form. Soccer is still a huge part of my identity, and it's not something I'm ready to give up.