Hypotheticals

I'm freaking out about this interview tomorrow, and I just KNOW he's gonna ask me what my favorite book is. That might just be the worst question in the world for me to answer. You see, I read everything. I read my calculus textbook on bus rides to basketball games. I read the shampoo ads on the metro into D.C. I read the fine print on the box of crayons, and the entire instruction manual for my playstation. I have a gigantic pile of books on the corner of my desk, stretching almost to the ceiling, and that doesn't even come close to the amount stuffed in the cabinets under my bed or in the corner of my rooms. Then there's the huge amounts of books on the bookshelves in the basement, torn up from years and years of heavy reading. When I went backpacking this summer, it was suggested that everyone should bring a book, for possible downtime. I read my book, my tentmate's books, and everyone else's books. I read every single piece of literature there was to read.

The point is, I've always loved reading. As much as I love playing FIFA all day, I'd often rather be reading. My mom hates snow, but I love snow days because they're reading days. I wake up at the same time I normally would so I don't waste it, and go sledding early in the morning. Then I come inside, shower, and spend all day on the couch reading. I love my little reading marathons.

Because of how much I read, I can do it pretty quickly at this point. I might not be the best mathematician out there, but I can read pretty quickly, and understand pretty quickly. It definitely helps with taking literature classes. I think I might be the only person in the world who doesn't think "Sweet, no homework!" when the teacher says to read in the textbook.

Very few books manage to make their way out of the jumble of text that is my brain. There are a couple that definitely have, but I'm afraid they don't make good answers. Is a book about tiny goblins that put poop under mean adults shoes really the best choice? What about the book that details two 4th graders living in a museum? Can I really not come up with something better than a mixed-up, convoluted story about the holy grail that's filled with ridiculous historical inaccuracies? It's clear that I can't decide what book to call my favorite, but I definitely know some of the worst. Without further ado: THE TOP SEVEN WORST RESPONSES TO "WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK?"



7. Your Colon: An Illustrated Guide
6. The Beginners Guide to Sex in the Afterlife
5.  The Communist Manifesto
4. The State History of South Dakota
3. Zombie Butts from Uranus
2. Miles to Go- A Biography of Miley Cyrus
1. Mein Kampf